The bat.

I'm not sure where to write this, so it's going here. I need to get this out of me and into writing... for me.

On Friday, I got up from my desk for some reason or another and began walking across the office. All of a sudden I see this thing with wings flying around the office. I thought it was a bird... I said quietly to my coworkers: "There's a bird in here." They didn't respond. The flying creature heard me though, it turned and started flying straight toward me. As I ducked, I saw that it was in fact a bat. It flew over my head, made a U-turn then found a hiding place on the wall.

At this time my coworkers had recognized that there was a flying creature in the office with us. I instinctively looked to the person who usually handles these sort of things for what to do. He shrugged.

I wandered back to my desk and continued to work, figuring someone would call animal control to do something about the bat. A few minutes later, our shippers son just happened to be here... and came into the office with a broom. He shook the bat loose from its hiding place and began beating it with the broom. As I sat in my office listening to the THUMP, THUMP, THUD of the broom beating the little bat, I was stunned, shocked and mortified that killing it with a broom was their solution to removing the bat.

Now, I'm the type of person who would catch a spider and bring it outside to let it continue to live... I'm not a killer. This is so far from my way of living that it has really traumatized me. It's been difficult for me to get over how different I am from the majority of my coworkers in this way.

On Saturday I asked a friend if she would look in her Animal Speaks book what it says about a bat totem animal. She immediately went to my computer and pulled up a few links. Here's one of them:

Let me back up a little... I've been planting seeds into the universe in hopes of aligning things in a way that allows me to move on from my 40 hour work week—becoming self employed, freelancing. It's something I'm pretty scared to do, and I've been putting it off for quite awhile because of that fear.

But I really feel like the time to move on is lurking closer and closer. My encounter with the bat has really opened my eyes to a lot of things, and I feel empowered and supported by the universe in moving forward—away from those who are unlike me—and into the realm of uncertainty, where I am creating my own destiny. I'm done with being someones lacky.

None-the-less. I'm still scared. I've never been one to create waves in my own life. I would generally need to get to a snapping point before doing so.

So, that's where I'm at. And I'm frustrated and scared.
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