Crochet Reiki Hearts

I'm currently in the process of going through Master/Teacher Reiki training. It's a 9-week course, and we're just about half way through.

Just for fun, last week after in the guided heart chakra meditation part of class, I got the idea to crochet up a bunch of little hearts and stuff them with crystals and herbs relating to the heart chakra and share them with my classmates.
I had some green hand-spun yarn on hand that I wasn't sure yet what to do with, so I started with that. I crocheted a bunch of hearts from that hank of hand-spun… then I kept going! I've made a ton of these things…

I choose to include rose quartz, dried lavender, rose petals and sage inside each heart. And of course, Reiki! They're all infused with Reiki energy—it was flowing while I spun the yarn, while I crocheted the heart and while I stuffed it!
The rose quartz beads were cleansed in Reiki-charged salt water, then lovingly placed into the heart, surrounded by the herbal blend.

Because I've made so many, and they're a lot of fun for me to make, I'm starting to sell them in my Etsy store and at a local farm down the road.
If you know how to crochet, please feel free to use this idea to make some hearts for yourself and/or as gifts, and I ask that if you do choose to sell anything made from any of my patterns, that 100% of the proceeds go toward a charity.

Law of Attraction

Because of the mainstream hype surrounding the movie The Secret, I resisted watching it for years. Whenever something gets THAT MUCH attention I instinctively avoid it like the plague. Eventually, one lazy afternoon I was browsing through Netflix and there was really nothing else that seemed remotely interesting. So, I watched it. It was pretty much as I had expected it to be—nothing spectacular, and a lot of information was missing from the movie. At the time I wasn't sure exactly what information was missing, so it left me asking a lot of questions.

In a way I'm really thankful I finally did watch it. Otherwise I would not have found myself asking questions. It set the stage for a journey into understanding as much as I possibly can about the Law of Attraction. Of course I'm still on that journey, but I'm being guided to share with you what I've learned up to this point.

Let me start by referring you to the Vibrational Reality post I made recently, which explains the nature of the energetic world that we will be speaking of shortly. If you're new to the idea of everything consisting of electro-magnetic energy, then I highly suggest reading that post before we continue.

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Because we live in an energetic universe where everything consists of energy, what the Law of Attraction is really saying is like energy attracts like energy—like a magnet.

We learned in the Vibrational Reality post that energy vibrates within a frequency range that we humans can experience. The emotions we feel are a reflection of the frequency we're accessing. Therefore, whenever we are vibrating at a certain frequency (feeling a certain emotion), we will only be able to translate the vibrations at that frequency.

Let me go a little further with what I mean by "translate the vibrations":
We have these five senses—taste, touch, smell, hearing and sight—and we experience the world through these senses. Our senses are the gateway between the energetic reality and the physical reality. Through our senses we translate the vibration into something we can experience—a sound, a smell, a sensation, taste and an image. There's a lot more to this, but that's the gist of it. I may go into it further in a future post. If you're curious about it now, check out information about the holographic universe.
To the left is a chart illustrating the frequency range we humans can experience. Use the labels on the chart lightly. Understanding the Law of Attraction doesn't have much to do with mentally memorizing the order in which the emotions appear on the scale… but it's more about how they feel, and which ones (to you) feel better and worse then the others. It may or may not be the same for different people, as we each could be feeling the same feeling, but calling it something differently. So, it's more important how it feels than what it's called.

With that knowledge under your belt now, I can explain how I use that and the Law of Attraction in relationship to my day-to-day life. Basically, I maintain mindfulness (as much as possible) of how my body feels and take notice when it shifts to a worse feeling.

So… that needs a little more explaining. It's not that I focus on or look for the worse feeling—doing that would attract a worse feeling to me—but it's more like I've asked my body to shoot up a red flag if I happen to notice a down shift in frequency.

It's taken some time to get to the point of actually noticing the shift, but now it's to the point where the shift down in energy—if it happens suddenly in reaction to something I'm experiencing—it's like diving from air into water. Pretty obviously dense and different.

Once I'm aware of the frequency shift, I can use it as an opportunity to make conscious decisions about how to respond to it. "Find a better feeling thought" is something Abraham Hicks has taught me. Once I notice myself shifting down, I can choose to think thoughts that help me feel a little better about the situation. Thinking better feeling thoughts helps to raise the vibration. So does gratitude—we can think (and feel) of something that we are thankful for and that will raise the vibration as well.

One thing I found myself running into often was trying to take too big of a jump. Let's say I was feeling angry or depressed and I tried to think loving, happy thoughts. It wouldn't work. I would notice more contraction and resistance to the happy thoughts, and I wouldn't feel any better—worse maybe because it contrasted where I was, then I'd develop self-criticism or shame about not being happy.

It's all about baby steps. From depressed and getting down on myself for not doing anything right, maybe a better feeling thought could be something like: "well, at least I'm aware I'm depressed now, and I'm not resisting it anymore." Then, "I'm being honest with myself about how I'm feeling—that feels a little better", and continuing with just whatever makes you feel a little bit better until eventually you're satisfied with where you're at.

Radical honesty is another big thing I've learned from this—being as honest as possible with myself about what I'm feeling. Otherwise, I'll be vibrating at frequencies that I'm unaware of and attracting things to myself that I'm unaware that I'm attracting…

One of the exercises I've used a lot is an ABC game: For each letter of the alphabet, I'll think of a good feeling word that begins with that letter. So…

A: Appreciation
B: Beauty
C: Calm
D: Divinity
E: Ease
F: Freedom
G: Grace
And it goes on like this…

I also found this to be really useful to get to know how my body feels in relationship to certain thoughts. Like, when I think "appreciation" I don't just think it, I bring the thought down into my body to see how the word feels. If it feels uplifting, great! If not, I'll choose a better feeling word before moving on to the next letter. Abraham suggests doing this while falling asleep at night.

Like I mentioned above, when we are vibrating at a certain frequency our senses will translate everything around us that is matching that frequency. And likewise, things matching that frequency will be attracted to us.

I was recently with a bunch of knitters discussing this, and a woman said that she loves when she receives new yarn. And yes, yarn is great, but it's not the yarn we love. Yarn is just a physical thing, it's the feeling that we get from receiving the yarn that we love—the feeling we get inside when we think of all the things we can make with the yarn—the feeling of how nice it is on our fingers, etc…

It's so easy for our minds to skip over the feeling step and focus on the object. The Law of Attraction is about attracting feelings to ourselves, not things. If we feel a certain way, we will attract things to us that match that feeling. If we're feeling abundant, we could attract new yarn, or a new car, or win the lottery. Or, if we're feeling irritable, we could attract (or be attracted to) traffic, or telemarketers, etc…

If you choose to experiment with this in your own life, be light about it and have fun with it. If you find yourself becoming stressed about it, put it down for awhile and maybe come back to it when life's a little easier. When starting out, it's best to start when it's simple. We don't learn how to put puzzles together with a million piece puzzle. 

A Past Life or two.

This morning I had a "past-life regression". What inspired me to get this done is a re-occuring fear that arises each time I'm presented with the opportunity, or even the concept of continuing my spiritual growth.

The first really noticeable time I experienced it was with learning yoga. When in college I had a lot of interest in going to a yoga class but was absolutely horrified of the idea of it. My college even had free classes available on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. One time I even got up the courage to bring a change of clothes with me to attend the class. I changed into the extra set of clothes and walked up to the door. My heart raced and I was so unbelievably anxious about the whole thing that I just kept walking and went home. It wasn't until about 6 years later that I actually made it into my first yoga class. The fear was strong when I began Reiki too.

It seems lately that this fear is preventing me from even knowing (or trusting) what the next step is. In the past I've always seemed to know the next step, but I'm at a point now where the fear just won't even let me consider any possibilities. So, here we are.

Now, these aren't the exact words, but rather my re-cap of what went on. There may be some phrasing that T used that may not be exactly quite what I've written, but it's my impression. When the scene came up the first time it was vague, and we kept going back to the beginning and going through the story again and each time more information came through and there was less emotion. It all came through in bits and pieces, so the summary of it may seem choppy and all over the place, but that's sort of how it went… We were able to piece it together a little better over time.

I closed my eyes and T began with a brief guided meditation to help me relax. After a moment of grounding and breathing I was guided to tap into the feeling of fear I have that surrounds the idea of moving forward with the next step in my spiritual life. I allowed the fear to rise in my body until the point I could hardy bear it anymore, and stayed there. Tears flowed down my face and there was so much tension—pressure—in my chest. I felt like burning from the inside out.

T asked me to go back to the first time I'd felt this fear. I began by seeing a baby and thought "well, this seems cliche", but remembered from reading through a bunch of first-time past-life regression stories to just go with whatever comes up. So, there was this baby crying. It was in a cradle. The baby is less than a year old. And there was fire. There was no one around. The fire was outside and the baby was inside. That confused me. There was a wall between the baby and the fire… The baby is safe, so what's all the fuss about? Where were all the people? Outside? No. There's no one responding to the fire.

I was very overwhelmed with emotion at this point—just like the baby. I could "see" (the way a photographic memory works, like when remembering where you might have left your keys) the baby as if I was standing beside it. There was a window and outside the window I could see the building burning—it was white. The baby continued to cry and there was no one there. Because I was outside the body of the baby I didn't think I was the baby, but I could feel so strongly what it was feeling. It cried and cried and felt so scared, ignored and alone. No one was coming.

(In hindsight I can realize now that this first vision was ALL the information I feel like I'd been believing prior to seeing the bigger picture in the rest of the story. With a much bigger perspective, it all makes sense now… keep reading.)

T brought me back to the beginning of the scene again. So, I started again with seeing the baby in the cradle, then I looked up and out the window to the fire. I knew the baby was crying because of the fire, but it was on the floor, so I'm not sure how it saw out the window. It's dusk. I turned to see what was around me in the other directions and saw that there was a woman sitting at a table doing something with cards. She wasn't responding to the baby's cries. There were two rooms. The baby and cradle were on the floor in the living room and the kitchen was on the other side of the house. There were some stairs going up between them, but not blocking the view between baby and woman.

Somehow my perspective got inside the burning barn and I could see two horses struggling to get free. They were tied and couldn't get out of the burning barn. They cried and felt so much fear and pain. Again I was feeling terribly emotional and my chest felt like it was going to burst. I wondered if I was one of the horses? The feeling was the same that the baby felt. T asks me if the horses die in the fire. Yes. I burst into tears.

T somehow calmed me down, then we began again. At some point T asks me if I know how the fire started. I saw a lantern, but again I thought it was cliche, so didn't bother mentioning it. There was less emotion around the baby. This time I noticed a man with the woman—they were playing cards. The baby cries and cries. The horses are struggling inside the barn. They cry—no one hears them. The baby cries. The woman eventually gets up to attend to the baby. Upon picking her up the woman sees out the window that their barn is on fire and calls to the man. The man gets up quickly and rushes to the window then immediately out the door. The woman follows and comforts the child who is still crying. The adults don't know what to do. I see the man running around the sides of the barn to see if there's a way in to save the horses. There is not.

T asks me to move the scene forward. It's the next morning. The barn is burned to the ground. There are a lot of towns-people around. They all came to help tame the fire. They had been throwing buckets of water on it all night. I couldn't look at the horses. The idea of them being dead tortured me. I knew they were there, buried under the debris, but couldn't bear to look. I realize now that I am that baby. I could feel the loving caress of the woman's hands. I was scared and sad and so was she, but she loved me and it felt comforting.

I now get another glimpse of how the fire began. There's a boy—about 8 or 9. He was carrying a lantern but tripped and fell. Some hay beside the barn ignited from the lantern and the barn was in flames quickly. The boy was frightened he'd be punished for starting the fire, so he ran, and didn't tell anyone. I don't believe he ever told anyone it was he who accidentally began the fire that night.

From this story I surmised that I could feel the horses pain. I cried because of the intense pain and fear that was coursing through me from the horses. I didn't see the fire. I felt the pain of the horses. They were crying for help and I seemed to be the only one who could understand them. I cried and no one was listening, and I had no idea what was going on, all I could do was feel and cry.

T brought me through some healing processes to help me to have a better acceptance of what had happened and to forgive everyone involved. She reminded me that it was my crying that did alarm the adults to the fire, and catching it when they did may have prevented it from spreading.

The neighbor boy who accidentally began the fire kept coming to mind very strongly during the forgiveness processes. Then I got the image of someone I know from this life, lets call that person X, and the boy overlapping as if they are the same soul.

I remember a glowing orb of yellow light surrounding the whole scene of the farmhouse and the burning barn, and it shrunk down into a little glowing orb—the size that could fit into my hand.

We walked through some more healing practices to remove any unnecessary cords between myself and X and the glowing orb, to really ingrain in the forgiveness and love. Of all the people there, I feel the deepest connection with this boy, and forgive him with all my heart.

T asked if there were any other times that I felt a deep bond with animals and I'm brought to the same farm, about 6 or 7 years later. I see a young girl with fire-redish blonde hair. It's in pigtails. She has freckles. She's wearing something that reminds me of overalls. I look down and I see chickens. The girl is running around chasing the chickens. The chickens are playing back with her. They're not afraid. The girl and chickens are best friends. The girl feels like she's one of them and the chickens love her.

I see an adult woman on the porch of the farmhouse. She's standing there with her hands in her apron pockets admiring the fun the young girl is having. So much love. Big smiles on both of them.

T and I went through some more grounding, and during that I kept hearing the phrase "Who's Sam?"

Let me preface by sharing with you that Sam is a nickname I've adopted in college, and have used with my earthy-spiritual friends for many years now. When I was little I'd name all my barbie dolls Sam whenever I was playing with others and needed to use a name. I remember there being a loving presence named Sam nearby when my parents were going through their divorce… so, Who's Sam?

With T guiding, I'm surrounded by light and there are a bunch of guides and angles surrounding me, sending me reiki. They expand into a larger circle making more room inside. Then a dog appears. Remember this post. Yeah. That's the dog. He's sitting in front of me staring into my eyes so lovingly.

Meet Sam. Sam is one of my guides.
He's a dog spirit. This makes so much sense to me.

T guides me into a lifetime with Sam. There's a boy, about 10 or 11 throwing a stick and there's Sam running after it. They're in a big field. There's a lake or pond at the edge of the field. I get a glimpse of the boy splashing in the water. He fell off a dock and into the water. It's just him and Sam there. Sam jumps into the water after the boy and grabs the back of his shirt and pulls him up to shore. Just like Lassie would have… Sort of makes me wonder if I totally just pulled this out of one of their episodes. I dunno.

So, from all this I've determined that it's safe for me to feel the feelings that come up in my body. I've avoided such things as yoga and Reiki, and Focusing because I've been afraid to let myself feel. The experience this baby had with feeling the intensity of the torturous, fear and pain these horses went through as they died is something no one would ever want to feel. I've been so afraid of opening up and allowing myself to feel because I don't ever want to feel that again. As a baby, that experience was traumatizing, and I believe that first impression I had from just the feeling and the fire was all I knew before now. I really feel as though it explains a lot for me, and being able to see the bigger picture, and not just to be limited to the crying experience and feeling alone, has really helped me to let go of a lot of repressed tension. 

And, it seems that I can now accept the idea that I'm empathic—that I can feel the feelings of the people and animals around me; and that I can trust the impressions I get to be accurate. Like, when my cat's meowing and I get a vision of ground beef. Kitty's hungry, and really enjoys eating beef.

My dad used to tell me the story of when my sister was a baby. I would come out of her crib room and tell my dad specifically what she wanted. My sister wasn't making any sounds yet, but soon after I'd told my dad, she'd start complaining. When they tried giving her the thing I suggested, it was just what she'd wanted.

This is a gift. It's something I can influence and control through intention (with practice), and I'm feeling pretty open to the idea of allowing this to unfold naturally now. I guess I can only be patient and loving to myself and see where this goes. I'm okay with that.

Vibrational Reality

For so much of my youth I believed blindly in the idea of things having energy… I must have read it somewhere and adopted the belief without really having any understanding of it. It fascinated me and I've been on this life-long journey to learn as much as I possibly can about it. I would speak to my friends about the energy existing in natural things like trees and rocks. There was one good friend who was very doubtful about it and thought it crazy-talk.

Rather than becoming offended by his doubt, or adopting his opinion as my own, instead it made me realize that I didn't really understand what I was talking about. From then on, I wanted to learn more about it so I had a better understanding and could have more educated conversations about it. That was about 16 years ago.

From there, I dove into book after book about all sorts of energy-related subjects: how to see and read the aura, past life regression, astral travel, pagan practices, crystals, ESP… My mind absorbed a LOT of stuff, but I still had really no idea WHAT this energy stuff really was.

I don't really think there was much of an explanation for it so long ago—at least not one that I had found. The relatively recent discoveries of quantum physics really help us to scientifically understand what it is meant when we use the term "energy".

I'm not a quantum physicist, so if you're interested in learning the nitty-gritty details about how it all fits into science, I'd highly recommend looking into books and videos by Gregg Braden, and movies such as The Quantum Activist and What the Bleep do We Know? (I've included the movie links to Netflix, for those who are subscribed to it.)

Basically everything in existence is made up of electro-magnetic energy that vibrates along a frequency range. Therefore we humans are made up of and surrounded by vibrational electro-magnetic energy! This energy field is often referred to as the aura.

The human aura can now be measured by using Kirlian Photography, which is a photographic method that can photograph the electro-magnetic field around living things. A photographed human aura appears as glowing light surrounding the body—often appearing in any range of the spectrum of colors. Someday I'll have my aura photographed and update this post with the image. For now, if you do an internet image search for "aura photography" a lot of images will come up to give you an idea.

This electro-magnetic field vibrates within a frequency range—sort of like a radio dial has a certain range from 87.5 to 108 MHz. Our emotions determine the frequency at which we are vibrating. This is useful to know if you want to get into stuff like the Law of Attraction.

One of the first techniques I used to sense my aura I learned from one of the books I read as a teenager. Everyone I've shown it to in person has been able to experience it. If you'd like to give it a try, I've described the process below
To feel your aura:
- Rub your hands together quickly for a little while until you can feel tingles and warmth. 
- Stop rubbing and hold your palms facing each other with about 3 inches (7.5 cm) between them. 
- Slowly move your hands toward each other then back away from each other. 
- Continue to slowly move your hands together then apart, trying a variety of distances between your hands.
What you should feel is a magnetic push and pull between your hands. 

I notice there seems to be an invisible barrier—when I'm on the inside of it my hands pull toward each other, but with my hands further apart (on the outside of the barrier), my hands push away from each other.

If you don't feel it right away, keep playing with it. You'll get it.

That invisible barrier is the edge of one part of the aura (there are many levels of the aura at varying distances from the body.) When we feel the magnetic pull of our hands together, our hands are inside the auric field of the other hand. When we feel the magnetic push away, our hands are outside the auric field of the other hand and feeling the edge of it.

When we are around other people, our auras are interacting—sometimes even before we are aware the person is there. Have you ever had the feeling that someone was looking at you from across the room, and when you turn to look they smile and wave? Or, did you ever think of someone then the phone rings with that person on the other end? Your auras were communicating to each other (even from across the globe), which is what gave you the feeling. 

This concept is illustrated beautifully in the movie The Celestine Prophecy. There is a scene when the main character is interacting with a man who is attempting to manipulate him into traveling away from the group. There's a woman witnessing their interaction from a distance, and she can see their auras. It appears as though the manipulative man's aura is enveloping the main character and the main character's aura is becoming weaker and smaller. 

This video clip is a different part of the movie that illustrates the same thing, and goes about explaining it further. Very much worth watching—at least the first 3 minutes.

When we are communicating to another, so is our aura. No matter what we are saying, whatever we are believing, thinking and therefore feeling is broadcasting energetically to all of those around us. Sensitive people can pick up on it. 

Through this energetic field, everything is interconnected. We're always communicating with the world around us, even when we are unaware of it happening. When we can become aware of the way the electro-magnetic energy feels to our body, we can learn to influence it through our intention.

Here's a short video clip from a different part of the Celestine Prophecy that I think illustrates the idea of energy interacting in an intentional, positive and beneficial way. 

There is a lot more that can be said about energy, but I'll stop here for now.

Investigating the programming

Getting to know myself is important to me because when I know the unconscious and reactive tendencies that I'm prone to, and witness them happening in the moment as they happen, it helps me to expand the wholeness of who I am. I can become more in the moment and less reactive. As we go about our day, we meet and talk with people, and are doing something every second, and in each moment lay the opportunity to choose how we respond, or we can react out of habit.

When I react out of habit, I feel separated from the situation and unaware of the fullness of what is happening within and around me. I feel small and controlled by my environment and the people around me. I'm a pawn in the game of chess that is life. Things seem scary, unpredictable and overwhelming. My reaction is often based on the programming I've absorbed of how to act in such a situation. Each time a certain situation arises I'll react the same way no matter what the circumstances are.

When I'm aware of what is happening in the moment—both inside my body and in the outside environment—I'm educated and can make a decision based on that moment. The action I choose to make is based on the moment and what would be in the best interest of all involved for that individual situation. I feel empowered, confident and in control of my actions. The world is my playground. Life is abundant and beautiful.

For this reason I've made the decision to see and feel and attempt to understand as many of my unconscious programs as possible.

What do I mean by unconscious programming? 
For so much of our youth we are influenced by society, our parents, teachers and peers to act a certain way in order to be deemed acceptable to them. As a baby, through trial and error we discover what happens when we cry, or when we laugh—the people around us respond. The way they respond is one of the ways we code our programming. We develop a belief that if I do A, then the result is B. Another example is if I experience C, and respond with D, I'll get the result of E.
We are subconsciously programming ourselves to expect things to turn out a certain way, and to respond to certain situations in a certain way to get a desired result. The program is written and until we become conscious of it, it will continue to unconsciously play out as written.

This past week I've been observing a handful of things I'll habitually say and how I feel inside my body. I've put the request into my mind to inform me when certain actions or feelings take place. I like to call these things triggers. For part of my Reiki Master/Teacher training we are working through each of the chakras. This week's observations are related to the 3rd chakra—the will center.

The unconscious program I'm aware of at the moment is when I'm giving my energy/power away, or sucking energy/power from another person. 

Some of these triggers are:
• Feeling a clenching feeling in my belly (a few inches above the navel, at the 3rd chakra).
• Feeling heat rise in my body (fire).
• Feeling mentally scattered (ungrounded).
• I use the words (or thoughts) "should", "supposed to", or "have to" (excessive controlling).
• Feeling out of control and/or powerless (helpless).
• A feeling of longing for anything (ungrounded).

When my mind alerts me that I'm doing one of these things it's like an alarm clock telling me to wake up! It says "Hey! Pay attention to what you're doing right now." Once I become aware of what I'm doing, feeling, or saying I can examine what's going on around me then make conscious choices about how I can best respond to that moment.

Right now, I'm responding to these things by grounding myself and breathing mindfully for a moment—bringing more awareness into my body. The body is always here in the moment. It's the part of us that navigates through time and space and is always right here, right now. When we imagine the past or the future with the mind, the body is still here in the moment. So, tapping into the feelings that exist within the body is a great way to bring ourselves into the moment.

I remember learning from a Buddhist podcast once upon a time that there is always an appropriate response. Each situation that arises has an response that is most appropriate at that time, and when we can be with our body and environment fully, that response is obvious to us.

Abundant Life Force Energy

Abundant universal life-force energy/power is available to EVERYONE, at all times, in unlimited supply. Yet so many people think they need to get their energy/power from other people; from outside of ourselves—we play games and manipulate it from others (depleting them of it), instead of accessing it directly from the source. Many of us aren't even aware when we're doing it, or having it done to us. Sucking energy from other people pushes them away and makes them not want to be around us.

Some signs that this might be something you do, or that others do it to you are: feeling powerless; tightness in the belly; trying to control others; feeling controlled by others; seeking someone else to solve your problems; telling others (or yourself) "should" or "have to" or "supposed to"; other people ignore and/or avoid you; grasping onto other people for security.

If any of these sound familiar to you, I suggest you try the quick technique below.

To access the unlimited source of universal energy is simple and can be done in a matter of moments. Do this slowly and listen to and feel your body as you do it—not for anything particular, just to observe. Maybe put your hand over your belly if it's tight.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Imagine that there are roots growing from your feet down into the Earth… they grow deeper and deeper into the Earth and grow more firm and strong as they get deeper. Keep breathing.

As your roots reach the molten core of the Earth, feel the red warmth rising up your roots into your body. Keep breathing.

Imagine that red warmth rising and turning orange in your abdomen, then to a bright yellow light just above your belly. Maybe place a hand here. Ask the light to become brighter and brighter until it fills your whole body. Relax the top of your head and imagine the light flowing out from the top of your head out into the universe. Keep breathing. Stay here for a moment.

When you're ready, bring the light back into your body through your head, then begin to draw your roots back into your feet. Take a few deep breathes and open your eyes.

Imagine what this world would be like if everyone knew how to access the universal life force energy directly? We would each allow each other to thrive on one's own energy and no one would be depleted of energy, ever. What a beautiful world that would be!

Reiki III training.

"I know that Language" by Ashley Foreman
When I began my journey with Reiki, I never intended on going all-the-way. Before I began Level I, to be honest, I was terrified. I had no idea what it was! Based on a conversation I was having with a yoga instructor, she suggested I look into Reiki. So I did. Before my first Reiki healing session, I had SO MUCH anxiety—my heart was pounding and I was sweating. Seriously. This fear is still something I'm investigating, as it seems to come up whenever the next step in my spiritual evolution presents itself… It has nothing to do with Reiki. Reiki is purely loving and always works toward the highest good. This fear is something of my own that I need to work through.

Once I got comfortable with the idea of Reiki, Level II was what intrigued me most, and that's all I really had interest in. Going any further than that frightened me, and I reassured myself that I never had to go any further if I didn't want to.

But as time has progressed, and my relationship with Reiki has expanded, I find myself wanting to keep going. In August 2011 I received a remote attunement to the level III energy.

This is something I wrote about the remote attunement experience. For some reason or another, it hasn't felt right to share it here until now:
As far as Reiki goes, I've been continuously been working on allowing the energy to flow through me—to BE reiki. I really turned up the volume on my self healing sessions and am working with the energy in a much more dedicated way. There was a woman who came to me through various online links who offered a remote level 3 attunement. She sent me the manual to read over. When it arrived I felt a sort of nervousness come over me that made me question if I was ready or not. I meditated on it for a few days before replying to her.
Just through reading the manual I began feeling Reiki more strongly than before, and I was reminded that Reiki is nothing to be afraid of. Nor is anything Reiki will present into my life. I had been afraid of being lead down a path that I wasn't ready to follow. But I've never yet been led astray by Reiki, and I know it only has my highest good in mind… so to speak. So, last Wednesday I had the attunement, remotely. We scheduled it to be received at 7pm.

What a beautiful and loving experience it was. I began feeling Reiki energy at 6:24, I just finished the work-related project, and set it aside, and began the intention to prepare for receiving the attunement. As I set the intention, I could feel my body filling and emanating Reiki. My third eye softened, and my sense of self began to dissolve.

I listened to my intuition about where and how to prepare myself and my surroundings. I chose to be sitting on my bed, lit a candle, drank some water leaving some in the glass. I lit some sage and collected some crystals and a cluster of earth from my altar to join me.

Sitting in meditation there was a sensation of being surrounded by non-physical entities. As if they gathered in a circle, and I was in the center. They were eager and excited to be part of this process, and I sensed gratitude from them that I was listening and aware of them in that moment, as well as their prior efforts in guiding me toward this moment.

I was guided to go upstairs to get a photo of my mom that I had printed that morning for the purpose of sending Reiki. As I did so my boyfriend wished me well and expressed his support of the attunement process. All the while my kitty followed me around the house, purring.

Once back on my bed I sat for another few minutes before receiving the attunement.

At 7 exactly I followed the instructions of breathing evenly for 4 counts in and out 5 times, then recited the words I received from the Reiki master. I felt an orb of light circle my body then surround it in a warm glowing energy. The circle of non-physical entities joined me inside the orb and held up their hands as if radiating energy toward me.

I felt a slow-moving vortex of energy begin at my base and rise through my lower body. I felt my crown chakra soften and open to allow in all energy that was available there for the attunement. There was warmth on the back of my head, as if someone's hand was there.

I sensed a glowing tube running through by body from my base to the crown chakra. I acknowledged it, then wondered what it was. It began filling slowly from the bottom up, with glowing liquid light. At the top, it began to overflow out of the tube, and into the rest of my body. I tingled all over and began feeling my throat chakra, then my heart, then my third chakra. Another vortex of energy came, but it felt different—more… puffy? for lack of a better word. It was more squishy and soft than the first. This one was upside down, widest around my chest, then the vortex was above my head pulling up. As the sensation of the vortex faded, I began to feel more of my body. I sat a little while longer to still myself and center again.

Before the attunement, since the move (present time note: I moved a month earlier and was still adjusting), I've felt as if my heart was a dense rock. Though during the attunement I had a vision of that dense rock expanding, cracking and glowing with more and more light until the dense rock was melted away. Since then I've felt much more alive and open to life.
The attunement itself was more intense than any of the others (Levels I and II) that I had received, and throughout the following year I experienced the most profound healing ever in my lifetime.

Level I deals with healing on the physical level.
Level II deals with healing on the mental and emotional levels.
Level III deals with spiritual healing.

I really had no idea what was meant by spiritual healing. My physical, mental and emotional bodies are tangible to me. I've been able to experience them directly, so I felt comfortable going into those healing processes. Before this attunement, my spiritual self had been something unknown and elusive—something I was unaware of consciously. 

Now, it's a little challenging to put words onto what I mean exactly by spiritually healing… but I'll give it a try. Based on what I'm experiencing, it seems as though my spiritual body is being repaired— any energetic blockages that are in the way of free-flowing energy seem to be making themselves known to me, then what I do with the knowledge of them orients their healing process…

Many times (at least at first—this seems to be getting easier) I resist and ignore and deny that there's even anything going on until it's SO LOUD that I just can't ignore it anymore and am forced to look at it, and say "Okay, yes, you exist… " Then from there it seems to quiet down and we can have a friendly conversation about what's going on… and often heal the misunderstanding that created the separation.

I can totally understand how cryptic that reads… but, it really does seem like there's a conversation going on between different aspects of me. There's the ego me, which seems tangible—like the part of me that identifies with the physical, emotional and mental bodies… then there's the spiritual me, which is so much more than the ego me… Sometimes I can see it as a parent/child relationship… The ego is often in the child role and the spirit is often in the parent role.

In writing all this, I'm prompted to investigate a little more about WHAT is actually healing when I think of a spiritual healing, and in thinking more about it, doesn't feel like it's my spiritual body that's healing—the "parent" or "spirit" part of me that I speak of really doesn't need it… It seems to be connected to the unified beingness of all totallity… So, the healing that is taking place is more like a unification between the ego and the spirit—like, when I'm being loudly spoken to about something that needs my attention, it's often about a gap between ego and spirit. THAT is what needs to be brought into consciousness and healed. That gap needs to be sealed.

So, this is what I've been dealing with this past year. At first it was amazingly difficult. Ten days after the attunement my mother passed away, so I'm sure that added dramatically to the healing process that has been taking place.

Of course, now that the huge obvious gaps between ego & spirit have been healing, I'm prompted to take another step. So, three weeks ago I began a 9-week Reiki Master/Teacher training course, and it is indeed holding my hand as I travel a little further down the Reiki rabbit hole.

Each week so far we have focused on healing the chakras. The first week was the Root (chakra 1). The second week was the Sacral (chakra 2). And this week we're working on balancing the Solar Plexus (chakra 3). Next week will be the Heart (chakra 4), then we receive our attunement on week 5.

This will be my second Usui Level III Reiki attunement. ALL of my attunements so far have been amazing. And, in mentioning that I must say that it's so interesting for me to notice lately what happens when I put expectations on things… Either they don't happen, or they're disappointing—EVERY TIME lately. So, I really need to let of of any idea of anything spectacular happening at any time in my future, for any reason. Or… maybe it's THIS expectation of things failing that needs to be let go of… maybe both? Couldn't hurt.

Anyway, moving on…
While working on Chakra 3 this week I've scheduled a past-life regression. This is something I've been guided strongly to do lately, and the Reiki master teaching us is a hypnotist who can do this with me. I have absolutely no idea what will come up (if anything) during the regression session, but I have some intentions set for some of the gaps between ego and spirit that could use some healing. And that fear thing, I'd like to get that out of the way. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens! (read more about the past life regression)
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