Facing Demons

As I was laying in bed before sleep last night, I closed my eyes and felt a lot of energy swirling around me. I took a step back from it to just experience it, and as I did so, visions came to me of scary-looking people, with eyes that sort of gazed into my soul as if to suck it out of me… it freaked me out a bit.

Then I noticed these glass jars being placed over their heads and their bodies would fall away… like, their heads were being trapped inside the jar, and their power was being restricted by not having access to their body… but they were still frightening… so they stayed locked up and hidden away. And I still feared them.

Then I wondered what would happen if I choose to let them all out of their jars at once… To face the fear I have of them all at the same time. I remember reading somewhere that when having dreams of being chased by something scary to turn around and face the thing chasing you. You'll see that it can't do you any harm, or that it's really not all that scary.

So I let them all out of their jars. They all came running at me at once, and I turned and ran in fear… then remembering that they can't hurt me. I stopped and turned around to face them. They were shooting arrows at me, swinging things and grabbing at me, but nothing touched me. It was as if I was the only solid thing there, everything else was a ghost, and passed right through me. I stood there more firmly and dared them to give me all they got… and they did, and I still stayed safe and solid where I stood.

I could feel the energy swirling around my body and was able to somehow get that to be still with me also. I felt fearless and brave. Such an empowering experience!

Thought I'd share :)

Chance encounters

A Johavah's Witness just arrived at my door, and upon opening it and seeing the flyer in his shirt pocket, my body became tense and regretted coming to the door. Though, he seemed like a nice man, and he had kind eyes, so I smiled at him. He introduced himself as a Jehovah's Witness, and asked if I was familiar with their religion. I explained that I was spiritual, though not interested in identifying myself with any religion.

He asked how one can be spiritual without religion—how someone can know the words of God without the Bible? I did my best to explain that God is all around us, that through direct interaction with God, one can know God. And that words themselves are limiting—we cannot *know* something through words.

He asked if I knew God's name? I replied asking why we must label things—why limit something by giving it a label? He told me that I have a name, and I replied "My physical body has a name, yes. But the being that I am on the inside is un-nameable. Just as the being you are on the inside is un-nameable." He seemed taken aback, and said "That's sad."

At some point during our conversation the tenseness in my body loosened, and I realized that this was an opportunity to speak the truth as I know it. I felt my energy shift and open up to expressing itself to him… a butterfly flew into my face as I spoke, as if kissing me on the cheek.

He spoke of Jehovah being a non physical body—a being—a person—somebody—who created everything we see, including ourselves. I agreed that there may be something labeled Jehovah that exists in the non-physical realm, but that labeled being is not the source that created all things. That the source that created all things is something bigger than the non-physical entity labeled Jehovah. He disagreed. To him, Jehovah was at the top.

Perhaps we were speaking of the same energy source of creation—but I don't see the point of labeling it, nor or seeing it as a being—a body—an individual entity.

If Jehovah created all things, what created his body—his non-physical individual identity? If anything can be labeled, that is not what created everything, as far as I'm concerned. What created all that is, is something un-nameable—something bigger and beyond anything we can describe through text, or through the words in the Bible. It's something that can be felt through direct connection with it—as it flows through us, and it IS us… Any words describing it are just words—more labels.

I asked him what created Jehovah. He replied that Jehovah created himself. So I asked him if he created himself, and he said "No, Jehovah did."
"So, if Jehovah created you, how is it that Jehovah created himself?" I said.
He looked puzzled, and said "it's hard to understand." I agreed.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking to myself that we are the creators of our own reality—that God exists within us, and to a degree, yes, we did create ourselves, and the life we lead and the experiences we have… so, from that perspective, I can understand that Jehovah did create himself.

Though, from the perspective that we needed God to create us, then it's hard to understand how one might create oneself—and that is what I was pointing out to him, in a way. That if Jehovah created himself then so did we.

He mentioned that Jehovah is returning and will save us. I recalled a quote I had seen recently that said "The one we're waiting for is us." I said that to him, and he looked so surprised… At which point we agreed to disagree, and I wished him a pleasant day.

Now, I'm left wondering about the interaction. I experienced it for one reason or another, so did he. Our two souls were meant to come together to have that conversation. It helped me vocalize thoughts I've had, and express the way I saw reality in that moment. I know not what he gained from the experience, if anything.

Perhaps some of the questions I asked him will make him wonder about them himself—perhaps not. I hold no attachment to the outcome of his reality. Though, I am in awe about the paths life leads us down, and about the chance interactions of two souls, such as this… and what it all means, if anything.

Synchronicity

Today's been an interesting and beautiful day… At one point this morning, I opened and became aware of the opportunity to see symbols as guides in my reality. As if something was urging me to listen. Something wanted to be told to me, and to hear it I had to open to it and allow it to unfold before me.

I reached for my tarot deck and began shuffling. At one point, the Ace of Swords fell from the deck. J and I looked up its meaning, then I continued shuffling, and split the deck at the Eight of Cups.

After looking up the meaning of the Eight of Cups. Literally, seconds after we finished reading, I glanced out the window and saw a BALD EAGLE soaring directly toward the window. It was FEET away from me, banked left and continued soaring past the house and over the river nearby… I stood there stunned and in awe for a moment, then ran to get my Animal Speak book.

Parts of what it said really resonated with me.
– "Those who have a bald eagle as a totem need to look at the symbolic association of water… Water is the creative source of life, and living near natural water sources may be important to their health. An eagle hunting in the waters must be able to penetrate the waters, grasp what it requires and then rise out of them. All this reflects increased ability and need to learn to work with emotions, psychism, and all aspects of spirituality with greater control. It reflects teachings about true mediatorship being able to enter and exit the more ethereal realms at will."
– "The white feathers of the bald eagle especially are often treasured as they are links to Grandmother Medicine—tremendous wisdom, healing, and creation."
– "They are also symbols of the rediscovery of the inner child."

– "The feet of the eagle have four toes. Four is a traditional symbol for keeping onself grounded and laying a solid foundation for oneself. Even with the eagle's magnificent ability to fly, it stays connected to the earth."
I received an e-mail this morning from the Lightworker Magazine that stated "The number 4 carries a powerful security with it; a knowledge that all is whole, grounded and pure in form." At first, it resonated with me, but when the number 4 appeared again I paid more attention to it. Soaring & remaining grounded has been something I aspire to. I have had the tendency to swing between them, though a balance would feel ideal.

– "For those with eagle totems, new vision will open. This vision will be far reaching to the past, within the present and to the future as well. … the ability to hear—spiritually and physically—will also increase."
This is already happening. These senses have been more acute lately. They're still in early developmental stages, but just that I've become aware of them is a huge step in being confident that their blossoming into something…

– "A new sense of timing & movement will begin to develop. You will learn to swoop, to soar, to dive, and to hover—to use the winds within your life and your own developing wings to ride them to your own benefit."

– "To accept the eagle as a totem is to accept a powerful new dimension to life, and a heightened responsibility for your spiritual growth. But only through doing so do you learn how to move between worlds, touch all life with healing, and become the mediator and the bearer of new creative force within the world."

All the symbols I've been shown today seem to be representative of my growing spiritually, and seem to be focused on things that I've been seeing more prominantly in my life lately. It's encouraging and inspiring to have seen such a magnificent bird and symbol of spirituality fly directly toward me. I really felt as though spirit… source… God… IS… was directing a message to me that I could not overlook. So… just in case the tarot cards and the e-mail weren't enough of a message, the eagle came to be sure I got the whole thing.

And now… thinking of whether I actually did get the whole thing leaves me drawn internally. Enough research has been done on the physical plane. It's now time to meditate.
Namasté

Shifting Energy in Dreams

My dreams have been new and interesting lately. I feel like I'm being educated.

I'm being shown—more like something is causing experience to happen that I can feel in and around my body—how to shift energy. I'm not exactly sure, yet, what the purpose is of my learning to shift energy, nor when to use it, or to what means.

In the dreams, I experience physical sensations in my body—in the areas of my chakras and my hands—that shift the vibrational reality around my body, and throughout the world. It feels as though a golden white light radiates in and around me and around everything that holds the focus of my attention. It's warm, soft and sparkly… much like how I've described Reiki to feel to me.

It's beyond what words can describe—it's a feeling—an experience that is deeper than what can be understood with the mind. As I sit here remembering the sensations that were felt throughout these dreams, I become still—I disappear into nothingness for a moment.

These dreams are introducing me to a way of existing that's different from what I've ever experienced in physical reality. It's like a form of physical therapy that I'm going through, but it's my non-physical body that's going through the therapy—learning how to use aspects of itself that have been asleep for a long while. In my waking life, the *muscle* memory is there for how to access these dreamlike states of energetic being. The more I work with it in my dreams, the more present it becomes in my waking life.

I have no doubt that Reiki is involved in this evolution. As I said, the energy *feels* like Reiki—though it's stronger and more ever-present than I've experienced it before. Which makes me wonder more and more if I'm becoming ready for the third level of Reiki—the spiritual level.

I still have some reservations about the *master/teacher* label that comes with that level. Though, I'm working on releasing resistance to it. Reiki is something that I've been guided to do by something beyond myself. My mind doesn't yet know or understand the purpose of my learning Reiki, or what my intentions are for using it. But there is an intuitive drive to progress further into the process. In many areas of my life I'm working on releasing resistance and allowing it to unfold as it will. Reiki is no exception—I will allow it to unfold as it is naturally intended to—no pressure to push forward, and no resistance to hold me back, just allowing, allowing, allowing.

I trust that I'm being guided toward my the most benevolent version of myself, and with each step in my life—forward or back—it's toward this.

Sparkling knitter angels

Last night I was seeing sparkles everywhere. It began as I was driving home in the rain. Things seemed to sparkle like I'd never seen before, in ways that didn't seem normal. A thought came to me, that water fairies were out dancing in the rain. It seemed like a fun thing to do, so I enjoyed the thought of them basking in the weather, and was thankful I had the opportunity to be part of their dance.

Before bed, J asked for some Reiki, and I was happy to provide. It was an opportunity to break away from the deadline-oriented thinking I've been in this past week and slow down into a meditative state. I've been seeking the stillness, and am thankful that the opportunity to share Reiki invited the stillness into my life again.

Sharing Reiki with J helped align my energies more closely with source, and I felt so much more at peace than I had before J asked.

Later, as I lay in bed to fall asleep, many thoughts came to me of my mother, who's been enjoying the time she has, while living with a cancerous tumor. I began sending reiki to her, and in doing so noticed, in my inner vision, many sparkling lights, similar to the ones I labeled as dancing fairies.

I recalled that everything we experience in life is our interpretation of source energy, and a story came to mind of Esther Hicks asking to see the non-physical entity called Abraham. When she opened her eyes to view Abraham, what she saw was a room full of fireflies.

The sparkling lights in my vision, although my eyes were closed, reminded me of lots and lots of fireflies. Large and small they sparkled, on and off.

As I focused on them they intensified and multiplied. I began questioning what they were, and allowed them to blossom into anything more that they wished to become.

I began seeing figures, all female, and all dressed in a sort of 1940's fashion and wearing large-brimmed hats. They were all clustered together directly in front of me, and if I could see their faces, they were looking right at me. A few of them to my right were hidden by their hats. I wondered who they were… they all seemed like avid knitters… It makes sense that knitters would be attracted to me—the deadline I'm working on is to complete the hand-knitted sweaters for the book I'm writing, so knitting is a main focus in my reality these days.

They were all peaceful and happy, and looking RIGHT AT ME. Probably in a similar manner as I was looking at them—in awe and excitement that we could see each other and experience each other's presence in a more-than-feeling way.

I thought of my maternal grandmother, who knit, and wondered if she was amongst them. I glanced to my left, and there she was smiling back at me, clear as day. I felt comforted and reassured that my life is on path. I eventually fell to sleep, and had some inspiring dreams, of which the details, at the moment, escape me.

However, this morning, as I read through my daily e-mails, I came upon the Lightworker Magazine e-mail. It's always filled with something inspirational, and many times it's relevant to my life, and where I'm at that day.

Today's message is as follows:

"You are surrounded by loving angels, Masters and Beings of Light. When they wish you to feel their presence, they will sparkle in your vision and alert you to their existence. At times when you feel most alone, they yearn for you to feel their love, devotion and comfort, so are extra evident in their sparkling.

You need not be clairvoyant to see these sparkles, you need not be meditating or thinking of these beings to see the sparkles, you simply see them because they want to confirm that they are with you, supporting you.

You are so very loved, so very sparkled upon! "

I'm humbled by the amazing-ness of this universe, and how magnificent reality can be at times.

~*♥*~ Shine brightly ~*♥*~