I had a class with Starr today to attune me to Level II Usui Reiki. It was an amazing and trans-formative experience.
The days prior to the class were spent trying to lighten up my bodies—attempting to eat well, meditate, doing Reiki healings on myself my cats and James, and vinyasa yoga. But still, upon entering the class that morning, I felt anxious and spiritually closed up—as I have been for the majority of the weeks prior.
As the class progressed, and I became more comfortable with Starr and Carolyn's presence I could slowly feel my body release tension and begin to open. I discussed with them how I had been feeling closed recently, and just getting that out into the open helped it release. I felt I could be honest with them about anything that came up. I shared things about my childhood that I felt were relevant to the conversation, such as remembering "sam" as a frequently occurring name that I would use when playing with dolls, without knowing or understanding why.
For those of you who don't know, sAM has become a nickname of mine. At the time that it did I did not recall the memories from childhood right away. It wasn't until I began investigating who sAM was that the memories resurfaced.
When we talked about sending distance Reiki, I learned that it can be sent to ourselves in our own past. I think that my adult self has worked (or will work) with my childhood self to release trauma from certain experiences, therefore making them less impacting on me as a child. Everything is after all, all happening now…
We talked some about working with people who had passed on to the other side. I recalled a few dreams of coming in contact with my paternal grandmother, Arlene/Grammie, with whom I was very close throughout my childhood.
After sharing our experiences with Reiki 1, going over the chakras and the different parts of our aura, we had our attunement. Starr said that a Level II attunement can be shared with someone on the other side—they will also be attuned. The idea intrigued me, so I invited Grammie to join me.
Just before being attuned, while sitting in meditation, completely out of the blue I got a strong feeling, and a closed-eye-visual of my maternal grandparents arriving. First my grandmother (Grammum), in a very strong way, then in a lesser way my grandfather (Pop-pop). I was really, REALLY surprised to see them.
Throughout the time we shared on this plane of reality, I didn't get the feeling that they cared much about me. My mother was often treated as the black sheep in their family, and they didn't seem to respect her much. Therefore, I never felt welcome or loved when at their family gatherings. I didn't grieve much when either of them died, as I was never very close to them. When I think of people I know who have passed on, they are never in those thoughts. So, needless to say, I was stunned when they choose to arrive for my attunement. It felt like the first thing in my life that they arrived for… I felt really honored, and happy to see them.
I invited all three of my grandparents to be attuned with me, though I think Grammum was the most enthusiastic about receiving it.
Later, when we were learning how to send distance healings I was being strongly pulled toward sending some to Grammum. So I did.
I called her name 3 times, and waited for a response after each. I visualized something with the energy of a small child, but I knew it was Grammum—she seemed very excited to be invited. Then I asked if she'd like to receive some Reiki. I got a very enthusiastic nod yes.
I surrounded her with a protective white-light bubble, drew the Reiki II symbols, connected with her third eye, then began to allow the Reiki energy to flow into her bubble. There was SO much love and emotion. And at the same time, so many feelings of regret, guilt and shame surfaced for me. Yet, I'm also so happy to have this opportunity now to heal anything that had happened in our past—to help us both move forward.
As the Reiki flowed between me and the white light bubble surrounding the energy which I recognized as Grammum, I tried to see her face, but had a hard time focusing. None-the-less, I knew it was her, so I accepted I couldn't see, and just continued to allow the Reiki to flow.
I still feel deeply moved that she choose to come to me, and I feel as though a new bond has been formed. For that I'm very thankful, and have such a great appreciation for her.
When I arrived home from the class I was VERY emotionally drained and stirred up, like a muddy pond… I lay down, surrounded myself with Reiki and napped for a few hours to awaken fresh and new.
I'm really looking forward to sharing Reiki as much as possible now. I feel confident that I can do it, and enthusiastic about surrounding myself in it as much as possible.