Exploring horizontally.

James has been having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to my venturing into Reiki. I understand how something spiritually new can be frightening and daunting to some.

He often speaks of a spiritually metaphorical fence. There are two sides to this fence, and on each side we can be close to or far away from the fence. On either side, the further we are from the fence, the less we can relate to the people on the other side. He tends to stay near the fence once he's on a new side of it, in order to relate his new experiences to those on the other side… to help them to understand how to continue moving forward.

I however, don't often think to stay near the fence, and often notice myself wandering further and further away from the fence out of curiosity without really being aware of how my wandering may hurt or confuse those by the fence, especially those who want to stay near me and relate to my experiences.

I think I do this because of my faith, and trust in spirituality. I know deep down in my heart that Spirit and the spirit world won't harm me in any way that I can't deal with—that all things handed to me are working toward the highest goal for mySelf. If I become hurt, it's because I get stuck someplace, and I need to wiggle and move around, figuring out what it is that's sticking me until I understand it and break free from its grasp. But that that doesn't hurt me. It's a lesson learned, not something I resent or am bitter about.

So, because of this trust, I feel I can wander freely, deeper and deeper away from the fence. But for the sake of those I love, who aren't yet on this side of the metaphorical fence, or are not in a place where they're ready to venture far from it, I'm choosing to linger where I am for longer to more deeply understand where I'm at, and to help James to understand it also. I feel we will both grow from my staying put. Well, "staying put" isn't really the right term... it's more like staying vertically where I am, but maintaining exploration horizontally—giving myself the opportunity to see things I may miss if I progress too quickly.

I decided to become attuned to Reiki to help people—mainly the people I love. If my choosing to advance and change too quickly does just the opposite of help, then I'd better re-evaluate my plan. For now, I'll enjoy all that Level 1 Usui has blessed me with, and be patient for another, more perfect time when Level 2 calls my name.