Disorderly eating

According to Wiki, an eating disorder is characterized by abnormal eating habits that may involve either insufficient or excessive food intake to the detriment of an individuals physical and emotional health.

The three most common eating disorders are:
Binge eating
BulimiaAnorexia
By the definition above and what I've read about binge eating, I'd have to admit that I probably have an eating disorder whenever I'm in a phase of giving in to cooked foods. Eating meat, dairy and grains certainly cause my body pain, and I've gone over the emotional side of eating such foods in some of my recent posts. So, how do I stop?

I need to start thinking of my food intake seriously, and take a good close look at why I do the things I do. When I consider eating something, what is it that makes me want that, and how will I feel after consuming it? Do I still really want it? If so, why? And is it really true?

I only really feel comfortable with what I'm eating when I'm eating 100% raw vegan. These past few weeks I've been continuing to eat poorly, and my body is really hurting because of it. It's about time I really take a look at what I'm doing here…

These are the signs of Binge Eating Disorder:
• Periodically does not exercise control over consumption of food.
Yup—this will happen when I'm around almost any cooked food.

• Eats an unusually large amount of food at one time—more than a normal person would eat in the same amount of time.Perhaps this is true. When around cooked foods, I'll often find myself continuing to eat after my body has made it pretty clear that if I eat anymore I'm going to feel sick.

• Eats much more quickly during binge episodes than during normal eating episodes.
Yup—I'm not as aware and I feel like I'll never get enough. (Dr. Wayne Dyer's definition of an addiction says something like "never getting enough of something you don't want".)

• Eats until physically uncomfortable and physically feels like they're on the verge of throwing up due to the amount of food just consumed.
Yup—more often than not, when I'm eating cooked foods I feel like I'm going to be sick afterwards and I don't stop just because of that feeling.

• Eats when depressed, sad, or bored.
Doesn't everyone?

• Eats large amounts of food even when not really hungry.
Yeah… just because it's there, I'll eat it.

• Usually eats alone during binge eating episodes, in order to avoid discovery of the disorder.
Heh. I've been doing so well, I've been hiding it from myself! :(

• Often eats alone during periods of normal eating, owing to feelings of embarrassment about food.
I always prefer to eat alone. I feel a lot of judgement from people about the foods that I eat.

• Feels disgusted, depressed, or guilty after binge eating.
Yup.

So, that about says it all—every one of those symptoms pretty much sums up my relationship with cooked foods these days. I feel like an alcoholic who's finally given in and gone to their first AA meeting… Hi. My name is Kristen and I'm a cooked food addict.

Now to start the healing process… eating a grapefruit.