Climbing back up…

I’m not sure what happened to me… but I feel like lately I’ve been eating worse than I have in the last 2 years… I became a vegetarian 2 years ago, then began incorporating more and more raw foods, then cut out dairy… but something snapped in me like 2 weeks ago—I began eating a typical SAD diet for dinner… greasy foods, pasta, CHICKEN, FISH, DAIRY… ugh. I am still eating fruit throughout the day, and it’s just my dinner meal that has been horrible, but it’s been REALLY horrible. I guess there is something that needs go get out of my system emotionally, otherwise I don’t see why I’d go back to eating meat and dairy.

It really doesn’t feel very good, so I’m not sure why I’m doing it. Masochism, I suppose. It’s like I really just don’t care.

I’m beginning to get back to the point of caring… of being tired of feeling like I’m dying every night because of what I ate for dinner. Today’s the first day in like, 2 weeks that my boyfriend and I DIDN’T go out to a restaurant for dinner.

I feel like I’m back at square 1… again. But I feel fortunate to know that there is a path that seems to work for me… more fruit during the day—lots and LOTS of fruit. I did have leftover pasta for dinner tonight… still heavy, but at least it didn’t include the heavy salad dressing, the appetizer, and the bread that comes with it from the restaurant. A step in the right direction. There are some salad supplies, and an avocado that will be going bad soon if I don’t eat them—that might motivate me to eat them tomorrow. Cross your fingers. I’d really like to get back to eating high raw. It’s how I feel best.

4 comments:

Pam said...

You are so right about the emotional aspect connected with going back to cooked food. I've had the same experience! Eating raw makes me have to face the issue, or go numb with cooked food. Once I decide to deal with it, raw food becomes easy again.

You can do it! Be easy on yourself, it's a life long journey.

Nicole said...

Very strange but I've experienced exactly the same thing!!! The past 2 weeks I keep thinking like "ah, whatever, I don't care" and have incorporated a lot more SAD in my diet. Most likely something emotional. I've even cut back on journaling and walking...so I can really relate to how you're feeling! I just feel like I've gotten really off track lately and I'm sick of feeling like that too.

SbutterAMfly said...

Wow, Nicole, you're the third person (including myself) who has been going through this phenomenon. I can't help but wonder if there's something bigger than all of us at work here… I've read something recently about chaos and the stars… perhaps it's something related.

Best of luck getting back onto the raw horse! I'm right there with ya!

Kasi S. said...

I totally get it, sweetie. I ate pizza the other day, I didn't know why and I didn't even enjoy it! I just did it!

Make sure to make some extra time to just sit and listen quietly. Listen to your body, but not just your body. Listen deep and let what comes up come up. Cooked food, especially animal products, are numbing. And I think we all need that sometimes. If you needed an emotional break, that's fine. I think I did - I was getting overwhelmed, even though I didn't realize it. Now work on getting back on track, but listen very carefully and attend to the emotional issues that come up and what you might have been ignoring before.

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