Investigating the programming

Getting to know myself is important to me because when I know the unconscious and reactive tendencies that I'm prone to, and witness them happening in the moment as they happen, it helps me to expand the wholeness of who I am. I can become more in the moment and less reactive. As we go about our day, we meet and talk with people, and are doing something every second, and in each moment lay the opportunity to choose how we respond, or we can react out of habit.

When I react out of habit, I feel separated from the situation and unaware of the fullness of what is happening within and around me. I feel small and controlled by my environment and the people around me. I'm a pawn in the game of chess that is life. Things seem scary, unpredictable and overwhelming. My reaction is often based on the programming I've absorbed of how to act in such a situation. Each time a certain situation arises I'll react the same way no matter what the circumstances are.

When I'm aware of what is happening in the moment—both inside my body and in the outside environment—I'm educated and can make a decision based on that moment. The action I choose to make is based on the moment and what would be in the best interest of all involved for that individual situation. I feel empowered, confident and in control of my actions. The world is my playground. Life is abundant and beautiful.

For this reason I've made the decision to see and feel and attempt to understand as many of my unconscious programs as possible.

What do I mean by unconscious programming? 
For so much of our youth we are influenced by society, our parents, teachers and peers to act a certain way in order to be deemed acceptable to them. As a baby, through trial and error we discover what happens when we cry, or when we laugh—the people around us respond. The way they respond is one of the ways we code our programming. We develop a belief that if I do A, then the result is B. Another example is if I experience C, and respond with D, I'll get the result of E.
We are subconsciously programming ourselves to expect things to turn out a certain way, and to respond to certain situations in a certain way to get a desired result. The program is written and until we become conscious of it, it will continue to unconsciously play out as written.

This past week I've been observing a handful of things I'll habitually say and how I feel inside my body. I've put the request into my mind to inform me when certain actions or feelings take place. I like to call these things triggers. For part of my Reiki Master/Teacher training we are working through each of the chakras. This week's observations are related to the 3rd chakra—the will center.

The unconscious program I'm aware of at the moment is when I'm giving my energy/power away, or sucking energy/power from another person. 

Some of these triggers are:
• Feeling a clenching feeling in my belly (a few inches above the navel, at the 3rd chakra).
• Feeling heat rise in my body (fire).
• Feeling mentally scattered (ungrounded).
• I use the words (or thoughts) "should", "supposed to", or "have to" (excessive controlling).
• Feeling out of control and/or powerless (helpless).
• A feeling of longing for anything (ungrounded).

When my mind alerts me that I'm doing one of these things it's like an alarm clock telling me to wake up! It says "Hey! Pay attention to what you're doing right now." Once I become aware of what I'm doing, feeling, or saying I can examine what's going on around me then make conscious choices about how I can best respond to that moment.

Right now, I'm responding to these things by grounding myself and breathing mindfully for a moment—bringing more awareness into my body. The body is always here in the moment. It's the part of us that navigates through time and space and is always right here, right now. When we imagine the past or the future with the mind, the body is still here in the moment. So, tapping into the feelings that exist within the body is a great way to bring ourselves into the moment.

I remember learning from a Buddhist podcast once upon a time that there is always an appropriate response. Each situation that arises has an response that is most appropriate at that time, and when we can be with our body and environment fully, that response is obvious to us.

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